We returned from the cruise a few days ago, to a house empty of guests. The attendants were busy cleaning and taking inventory of linens and toys, trying to determine what needed to be replaced, what required attention. The deck boys unloaded the boat, returning luggage to the appropriate rooms and transferring guest belongings to the car for delivery to the airport.

I was told to return to my room and gather together the items I would need for an extended trip. This surprised me as it was implied when I arrived that no one left the island until their debt was paid.

An attendant accompanied me and assisted in my packing. Shortly before dinner a car arrived and I was instructed to accompany the attendant and one of the guests from the cruise to the airport. I was leaving.

That was three days ago. I guess I still work for him, but I now reside with Carl, in his villa. The attendant is still with me and prepares me for work in the evenings. There have be no parties, only private dinners and one night out dancing. I've asked how long I will be hear, but the attendant just hushes me and tells me to stop, that I must behave or I will not return to him.

However, Carl has given me a private room and full access to the house. He has also given me access to his driver, with a small allowance to spend in town with the caveat that I never leave the drivers sight.

Have I left the pan for the fire?

I am back from the clinic and safely ensconced in my room. The attendant just left, having brought me some tea and a light snack of fruit and cheese. That is all that is allowed us, in the evenings.

I have been allowed tonight off, despite the party he is throwing, but I am to be on duty tomorrow bright and early. He has decided it is time to sail, so we will be gone for a few days, with a few select guests and no contact with the real world. Working on the boat affords less time for relaxation though as the fresh air works on the guests. We are to be "on call" for whichever guest wishes us. I believe this time will be myself and one other. Maybe Sarah as she looks her best in a suit.

I don't know how long it's been. I do know, however, that I am tired. So very tired. Things are not well, not going according to plan, not as expected. I need to go and have it terminated. For my health, for his sanity. Apparently I am damaged and no good will come of going to term. But then, unfortunately, I will need to return to work. It will be required of me. I have cost him much since my arrival. More, he hints, than I contribute. The attendant no longer comes and my meals are delivered by a quiet house boy who watches me with fear in his eyes.

I am unsure where things are headed.

I've had a few days to adjust to this new development. No one is quite sure why this happened and the doctor feels an end should be put to it immediately. He is not too sure, which is odd as it is against our employment. It has, however, bought me a few days to myself with no guests and no visits from the attendant. He feels he needs time to adjust to the situation as well, and make a decision.

I'm not sure I can continue.

It was a quiet day. The guests left early, leaving me to myself, my reading, and my thoughts. He avoided me most of the day. Probably due to his anger which was always there, in his eyes, his movements, the way he spoke to the others. The time I spent recuperating was costly. For both of us, and in ways I cannot even begin to explain.

The attendant has be in and out of my room all day, shuffling her feet and murmuring her strange dialect while all the while glancing in my direction. When it came time to prepare for dinner she said I shouldn't bother. I was not required. Dinner would be sent to me. As she left she locked the door.

It has been hours now. Dinner was served and cleared promptly. The door re-locked. I can hear girls moving about the halls and patio still, tho no new guests have arrived. He has not visited as is his habit before retiring. No evening drink has been sent. No fire was lit.

I am worried.

I am finally up. Finally out of bed. Finally walking. Finally off of the pain killers. I have a slight limp, but that should disappear as I work out the stiffness - in whatever form of exercise he prescribes.

Back to work. Back to life.